Spring is around the corner.. New beginnings, new blossoms..!!

Have you ever returned to a place that you really loved, a place where you thought you belonged, a place that made you feel at ease…after a very very long gap and felt that strange chill in the back of your neck and a tumbling feeling in your stomach…? The familiar spots, colors, faces. They all try to strike a chord with you…But the intimidating strangeness that has engulfed your familiar surroundings mock at you….

Which way do you walk…? Do you take the safety of the once familiar routes or do you dare to venture the never before visited alleys? Do you revisit the once regularly visited spots and bow to the familiar faces or do you just march on as the new mysterious persona in town, arousing all passersby’s curiosity..? Or would you just sit at one corner not knowing what to do next and end up recollecting the old tainted pictures from your memory..?

This is exactly where I am right now and this is exactly what I am feeling right now…Its been more than a year I penned down anything creative…its been so long I have even visited my once favorite bloggers…and its been a very long time….And just like that I am here again…!!

Its been a good exile…with lots of good and a couple of not so good stuff happening with the life.. Nothing highly dramatic like winning the Big Brother show or anything highly rewarding like inventing a replacement for fossil fuels happened in my life… Just the regular stuff…more work and less work… one good visit back home and great time spend with family and friends…one more birthday… more shopping and more shopping…more photos and more photos, gifts, parties, dinners, ever growing credit card bills and a bunch of fights and yelling and being pissed off which I would group together as miscellaneous.

Every now and then the feel good factor of blogging, comes in…Just like the feel good factor of working out…which also apparently was in a terrible screeching halt for a while!! In an effort to convince myself with genuine reasons or rather excuses of not blogging , I question myself , why do I blog…?

No, am not questioning the essence of blogging, or why others blog…? I do understand and appreciate the talent and commitment shown by various people in keeping alive their blog, whether it is fictional, scientific, technology related, art , music or anything under the sky…but why do “I” blog…? Oh god, I am coming to hate myself for the very artificiality and hypocrisy that question resonates…I know why I blog…it is because I love words, I think, I think non stop, I love to combine my thoughts and put it into words and then read them as they come out…I like when others also read it…I love it when people appreciate…Oh I am no good sport…I get so pissed off when I get negative comments and sulk..

If I know all this I shouldn’t be even asking that question…Or may be I should I ask, why is it that I gave up blogging ? Lazy , busy, occupied with other stuff…yes to all…But also, somewhere down the lane, I started to hate the fact that I had started wanting to write not for myself but for those whom I think might be reading my blog….

Even worse, I started not to write certain things, thinking about those who might read it and feel offended…

I know that the reason why I started blogging was because I thought, hiding in the anonymity of this veil, I could write what ever came into my, exactly the way I felt inside. Let me admit, I am indeed a chicken!! But clearly, being the attention I seeker I am, i made sure almost every who knows me, knew about my blog…There goes the cover of my anonymity…A puff and a smoke …ashes remain….

Now, I arise from the ashes…is this a new phoenix…with a bolder, daring outlook?
Which way do I walk…? Do I take the safety of the once familiar routes or do I dare to venture the never before visited alleys? Do I revisit the once regularly visited spots and bow to the familiar faces or do I just march on as the new mysterious persona in town, arousing all passersby’s curiosity..?

That is something I have to wait, watch and see….

Wishing myself all the best in a new beginning….!!

While I was Sleeping….

Its been a long slumber. In the blogoshpere , a sleep this long is enough to declare you brain dead and as being in a vegetative state.. A few kind and loving passers by even stopped by to pray for my soul and place some chrysanthemums on my coffin…When they began to write me an eulogy, I scared them away by sighing heavily, rolling over to my right side and blurting some random rants in the sleep..

It was not yet summer when I slipped into my hibernation…It was still cold outside and I felt be warm and cozy nestling under the comforters;

I was too lazy to pull off the covers and wake and start doing what was I supposed to be doing...Instead I was in constant denial that the only reason for my not blogging was that I had to prepare myself for some higher challenges and glorious goals waiting ahead…

Four months and a season change later, when my eyes could no longer resist the bright rays of reality poking its lids, I slowly opened them ,sat tight on my bed, still clutching on to my blanket and began to examine the new world around me.

Have I transformed into a beautiful butterfly with vibrant colors splashed all over my wide fluttering wings? ‘The mirror mirror on the wall’ and the weighing machine that I always hated confirmed that I have gained a few pounds.. My strange food allergies have caused my left cheek to swell up noticeably , my once long hair has been cut short above my neck and the fading colors of red, brown, black and blonde on my hair looks like a group of butterflies have just emptied a load of water from their Laundromat on to my head!!

When the legendary sleeping beauty woke up from her long slumber, there was a charming prince standing next to her bed…But when I woke up, to my dismay, I realized that the only man I had managed to blind with love, cornered to propose me, recite the vows and dragged on my finger tip where ever I went, has managed to pack his bags and escape to a far away land…leaving me to semi-spinsterhood. Now before you start sending me condolence notes and may be marriage proposals from 35 year old widowers too…let me explain…we are still happily united in holy matrimony and all that cliché. The new status change is because Mr. MD got a better job neat the “Vah-Beach” and we have to stay separate during the week days as both of ours career ambitions and love for intellectual pursuits don’t let us to be a house-spouse. Yes, in the new world, you have to stay closer to the one who writes your pay checks!!

On further ruminations, I could see that my bank balance has become way to lighter than what I remembered it to be…My closet is filled with clothes bought on sale, half of which I am sure I will never wear again.. My refrigerator has become a junk yard for frozen and greasy pizza breads and chicken wings. The entire apartment requires an emergency squad to tidy it up. Unanswered mails, unreturned calls, unvisited blogs, unfinished books…The list is endless

On the positive side my credit history has been certainly building exponentially..(It should after all that shopping I do..!!) My friends, who went back to India indefinitely, came back to a place much closer. For my office work I got a sexy and sleek little gizmo that I proudly carry around 24/7. As Mr. MD and I see each other only on the week ends, the amount of fighting, arguments and yelling at each other has reduced considerably and all that has given way to routine movie goings, romantic dinners and quality time together

Finally, the whole guilt of not doing anything interesting for some time was washed off completely by one group visit to the Sin City- Las Vegas with a group of equally enthusiastic and up for any game friends…Four days full of drinks, foods, party, dance, clubbing, strip clubs and innumerous naked women later…I feel much rejuvenated and it is time to bid adieu to my vegetative state….

Blog world…Here… I re-enter!!!

Are We-Men Good Enough?

Yesterday I received a rather innocuous email forwarded by my friend. It came with a disclaimer “How to think like an M.C.P” and the story indeed portrayed how inane women are in comparison to men. I decided to give it the due neglect it deserves, but couldn’t resist forwarding it to a few good Samaritans who I knew would be jobless enough to appreciate enough!!

Just after a few ‘email seconds’, I received a reply from my good friend Mr. B. He, who proclaims himself as “Me De Man !!”, reveled at the wise content of the mail with a Mogambo like Muuuuaaahaaaha laughter. He stated that a recent research by a professor says that women are biologically inferior to Men in Scientific and Mathematical skills!! As Cartoons and PJs are the most controversy triggering topics du jour, I had to give his comment a befitting reply and thus a foray of emails were sent between the two of us.

Though both of us were indeed trying to score a point every time, some interesting thoughts did come up which I am glad to share with you. (I lost the first mail from Mr.B in this chain, but you still can understand the plot)

****************************
From : Me

I believe it is foolish to compare two entirely different subdivisions of the same species because they are created for entirely different purposes.

We never compare a cuckoo with a nightingale or a panther with a cheetah. Even if we compare, it never boils down to a mere superior-inferior break down.

They are simply different and they have different purposes in life.

It doesn’t make sense for man and woman to have equal skills in everything because then the very purpose of having man and woman separate doesn’t make sense. Remember certain animals can change sex during the course of their life pro creational purposes. So It has to be with a reason we are created the way we are and I wonder which university would fund such professors to spend time on such researches. He should rather use his superior scientific brain to find permanent cure for aids !!

****************************
From : Mr.B

My response below in blue.

I believe it is foolish to compare two entire different subdivisions of the same species because they are created for entirely different purposes.
It is not when one sub-division claims to and demands to be treated equal without proving themselves to be equal. If I claim to the world that everybody treat me equal to Einstein, then I have to prove that, else not claim or demand it.

We never compare a cuckoo with a nightingale or a panther with a cheetah. Even if we compare it never boils down to a mere superior inferior break down.
You are right, we shouldn’t compare a sparrow to a rabbit, but we sure compare a male rabbit to a female rabbit, if and only if the female rabbit claims the above point.

They are simply different and they have different purposes in life.
True.

It doesn’t make sense for man and woman to have equal skills in everything because then the very purpose of having man and woman separate doesn’t make sense. Remember certain animals can change sex during the course of their life pro creational purposes. So It has to be with a reason we are created the way we are and I wonder which university wud fund such professors to spend time on such researches. He shud rather use his superior scientific brain to find permanent cure for aids !!
I agree and not only animals, these days, even human beings are doing that. The university is Harvard itself and he is not just a professor but the president (not anymore) of Harvard. Instead of refuting his opinion by statistics and proof they simply seem to agitate. Alas they are women!!!

Link to the controversial news

****************************
From : Me

I really do not have much knowledge of what the so called feminists claim to be or demand for. In fact I even feel they are one of the most misunderstood lots. I don’t even think any intelligent feminist would blindly say consider me as equal as a man…If at all she would, the context in which she might have said that has to be given due weight age.

Nevertheless, it is a known fact that discrimination has been and is being done on the basis of sex. Denying education, a good living and in many cases, even birth owing to your sex is gruesome.

I have often felt that people in the relatively upper strata, like us, often fail to understand the nuances of discrimination being done. But the true stories from a remote Indian village might paint a different picture that you might want to brood over.

Moreover, personally I would never argue to consider me equal to Einstein; Not even Madam Curie or Shakunthala Devi. But I certainly know that I can be better in certain job profiles than a lot other peer male/female members I have worked with. So if I “can” do a particular job better than some one else, just don’t discriminate because I am a female. Again, please don’t expect me to do a certain thing only in a certain way because I am a female. !! That is what I call a fair playing ground.

Quite often, human mind loses its rationality and once the mob psyche overtakes, the only thing they are capable of doing is agitate. This is true to both men and women. We have innumerous riots and violent attacks spread all over the history to prove this point- Lead by both men and women.
:)

****************************

Our discussion stopped here. I am not sure if we both reached on the same page or if we just agreed to disagree. But I did take a look at the link Mr.B sent and from that I learnt that -
Mr. Summers was just expressing a suggestion at a conference on women and minorities in science and engineering. It was neither his research finding nor was he voicing the opinion of Harvard. Probably the guy just needs better coaching as to how to use his freedom of speech more sensibly on sensitive issues especially when he sits of hefty chairs.

As far as the agitation staged by women who felt offended, well it is natural to feel offended, but there certainly could have been a better way of doing it!!

10 Things Posted Bold On My Walls

1. Never give an advice unless it is Requested. You are denying yourself the opportunity to say ‘you asked for it!’- People will hate it anyway.
2. Never volunteer to take up a job that was Not assigned to you, especially if it was left unfinished and abandoned by a less competent person.
3. Never think you can perfectly understand a situation from some one else’s shoes. You have only one shoes and that is yours.
4. Never say Never. You most likely will end up doing the same.
5. Attitude implants are rejected by the brain in 99% of the cases (Courtesy - Calvin)
6. You have a right to be immature and stubborn when you choose to; It is unfair for one person to always pay the price for being the more matured one
7. Quit fooling yourself with the cliché “S/he is just like my own sis/bro”. The stress is on the word like. S/he never was , is or will be
8. Quit asking questions if you have no honest interest in the answers, what ever that may be.
9. If you have an emotional outburst to pen down something, do it immediately. The waves never reach the fort walls once the tide goes down.
10. Do not borrow some one else’s post it points.
    
    
    Current emotion: extremely pissed off, vexed and feeling lonely
    A Confession : I lied. I never posted them on my walls. They make the place look dirty.

An Ode to God's own country- Part 2

I love this song for it portrays a simple, but serene picture of the richness and diversity of the art, culture and folklore history of Kerala. The slightly difficulty classical notes adds to the grandiose of the song

For some reason we had to record the song in two parts. So please play the part 1 in the previous blog first if you want to enjoy the whole song in its fullness

An Ode to Gods Own Country Part 1

My good Friend Ash wanted this song for some competition. We learned this song in school and she 'politely demanded' me to sing and record the song for her. Thankfully, Neena came to visit me this week end with her hubby and we took some precious time out of our hectic week end and traveled down the memory lane to hum this…for the sake of our friendship, and of course due to genuine fear of threat ;)

Ash, the giggles and interruptions between the song was due to our naughty husbands sitting right behind us, and of course a couple of bottles of Johnny walker and Irish coffee as accompaniments… Please bear with!

My Insanities

I talk, I bathe and I weep. So what? Everyone talks everyone bathes and everyone weeps. Its not like I hunt, I kill or I kick asses…which I very much wish I did under certain circumstances at least. So what is it about my talking, bathing and weeping?

I am obsessed…So is it one more to the list? No, I am obsessed with talking, bathing and weeping.

Fear not, I don’t talk to real people who are kind enough to stop by and greet me. But I talk to myself. Sometimes quiet, sometimes loud, always with vivacious expressions and at times with exaggerated hand movements. You can secretly observe me doing this mostly when I am in the passenger seat of my car, or when I am in the middle of my lengthy make up rituals or when I am in the company of boring people. I wouldn’t encourage you to secretly observe me when I am in restrooms or fitting rooms, so we can cross that off the list. In short when ever I am not engaged in any sort of meaningful or meaningless activities, I talk. I talk with real life people I know, in an imaginary context or some times in a previously occurred context. I talk my part of the dialogues while I clearly visualize the other person(s) delivering their part in front of me. Just like in real life, the other party can be mean to me at times. But in my imaginary talks, I grant myself the freedom to rewind and improvise my dialogues if I feel the need.

I must have started this habit in my teens to prepare myself for an elocution competition, or to face my secret crush. This even helped me in interviews, group discussions, television shows and emceeing. During my college days I was over occupied by my real life friends, activities and never ending phone calls. I could talk non stop over the phone for a whole night and yes I had friends who would patiently listen to me through out the night. But once I came to the land of opportunities, I got practically tongue tied as none of my close confidantes or patient listeners are around. My current room mate, who also happens to be my lawfully wedded husband, believes in the principle of KISS. No, he doesn’t mean one of those mushy hallmark kisses, not even the creamy Hershey’s kisses. He meant “Keep it short, stupid”!! So there I am, all alone with no one to engage in my never ending conversations. The mocking smile of my calling card bills increased my pain. Thus once again my imaginary hub of people came alive around me.

I adorn various personas while in these conversations. My age, profession, location, accent and even attitude changes with each persona I choose. I can easily fit into different peoples’ shoes and feel how it feels to be them. I have political debates with world leaders and pep talks with glam girls. I involve in managerial strategy talks and give lectures on how to improve our entertainment industry. The best part of all is that I always have my close ones around…SB and LN brings me all the good news I want to hear, SS advises me what to do next in every stalemate situation, PR corrects my accent when ever I go wrong and TK chides me every time I goof up.. I made GK and SN thoroughly understand that I am way too good for them and I repeatedly tell AV and MM how much I still miss them…That is my first obsession.

Let’s move on to the second. I bathe. Apart for the very obvious hygienic reasons, I bathe for the pure pleasure of it. At times when I am so bored and can’t think of anything else to do, I bathe. I also take bath if I am depressed or not in my usual spirits. The closed corners of the tub and the cover of the shower curtain give me an exclusive seclusion from the rest of the world when ever I want to disconnect. I like my water hot, scalding hot to be specific. I can stand in the shower for a very long time as long as the hot water trickles down my body keeping every cell warm and cozy. I stand with my back to the shower, my chin touching my chest and let the hot water fall on the back of my neck…It makes me say every time “Ooh la la…this is heaven on earth!!”. To me this is a highly refreshing and religious exercise that lifts my mind, body and spirit to a higher state. Please wait before you conclude this is the heights of insanity.

There comes my next obsession…I weep. Being very loyal to my sex, I do weep on almost all of the very obvious and predictable situations…But other than that, I weep, as a sort of cleansing myself. There are times when I lie down on my terrace, watching the moon. Untold emotions and anxieties rush in from the darkness and wells up my eyes. I am not always sad as one might think when I cry this way. Really, am not sad at all...and once I cry, I feel quite light and relieved. I could very well relate to a monsoon cloud dying to relieve itself as falling rain! Ironically I feel happy once I cry.

Are you still reading…?? Jeez you must be really obsessed with other peoples’ insanities…You are so insane…duh!!!